Friday, December 21, 2012

I look at their faces

Every night when I put Anna to bed I look her straight in the eye and say, 'Anna, mama loves you more than anybody has ever loved anything ever before.'

I don't really believe that anyone can love as deeply and completely as I love her. I can't fathom how that can be true.

Yet I know that somehow this most singular, personal, individual emotion is universal.

It's being a parent.

And now, Sandy Hook.

Oh God. There are no words.

The horror is too great, and the realization in a new and most terrifying way, that our children are not safe is too much.

I can say nothing, and can do nothing. I can hold my own daughter tight and love her. I can pray desperate prayers for safety, of health and protection for her and for all children. And I can cry, and grieve. And when the news covers the funerals of those precious innocent victims and their pictures are plastered on the screen I can make myself look, really look, as much as it hurts. I can listen to their stories and to the horrible details of their death. I can listen to their names and try to forget his. And I cry.

That's all I can do, is let myself cry. Not try to heal, nor try to forget. But just let it hurt.

Because this should hurt.

I make myself look at their faces, and I let it hurt.

{Rest in peace sweet angels, we will never forget you.}

Charlotte Bacon, 2/22/06, female
Daniel Barden, 9/25/05, male
Rachel Davino, 7/17/83, female.
Olivia Engel, 7/18/06, female
Josephine Gay, 12/11/05, female
Ana M. Marquez-Greene, 04/04/06, female
Dylan Hockley, 3/8/06, male
Dawn Hochsprung, 06/28/65, female
Madeleine F. Hsu, 7/10/06, female
Catherine V. Hubbard, 6/08/06, female
Chase Kowalski, 10/31/05, male
Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male
James Mattioli , 3/22/06, male
Grace McDonnell, 12/04/05, female
Anne Marie Murphy, 07/25/60, female
Emilie Parker, 5/12/06, female
Jack Pinto, 5/06/06, male
Noah Pozner, 11/20/06, male
Caroline Previdi, 9/07/06, female
Jessica Rekos, 5/10/06, female
Avielle Richman, 10/17/06, female
Lauren Rousseau, 6/1982, female (full date of birth not specified)
Mary Sherlach, 2/11/56, female
Victoria Soto, 11/04/85, female
Benjamin Wheeler, 9/12/06, male
Allison N. Wyatt 7/03/06- female


simplicity said...

So well said, Sheri. This one hit me not just because they are children but also because they are the exact same age as my Henry. His birthdate is smack dab in the middle of some of those dates and I think about imagining that phone call or that news break in and knowing that's my son's school/classroom. Thanks for sharing. It hurts but you're right, it's supposed to.

Professor J said...

I think that tears are the most honorable commemoration of this event. xo