Basic Health

I was hired to do data entry for two and a half weeks back in December. I jumped at the chance, simply happy to be working, to make a paycheck and get up and out of the house every day. I loved every minute of those short weeks, bored as I was, and two and a half weeks turned into three months of the best job I have ever had.

I miss it.

I worked for the Public Policy department of Community Health Plan, specifically with their grassroots advocacy program, Save Health Care in Washington (savehealthcareinwa.org). The data entry I did functioned to process the messages that over 25,000 Washingtonians sent to their legislators regarding the state of the safety net health care programs that cover over 100,000 people who otherwise have no health care. Because of this, the first few weeks that I spent doing mindless data entry were so much more. I cared deeply about what I was doing, and realized the impact it had. When they hired me on for the rest of the legislative session my responsibilities expanded greatly - mostly involving writing and communication work. I helped film, edit and produce a video that told patient stories to legislators and lobbyists. I wrote letters to the editor on behalf of my Assistant Vice President. I created communication plans, talking points, powerpoints etc. I also stepped far out of my comfort zone by being the 'cell phone person'. During critical points of the session, I went to various community health care clinics throughout the state, met patients, heard their stories and encouraged them to phone their legislators right then and there. I was that girl, cell phone in hand, asking people to call.

Before I started the cell phone program I was intimidated. But from the moment I approached the first patient my anxiety disappeared. I wasn't asking for money, nor was I coercing them to do something they didn't want to. What I was doing was educating and empowering these people. I would explain to them the proposed budget cuts, answer their questions and inform them that contacting their legislators actually made a difference. I would encourage them to call - about anything. It may sound silly and obvious, but to many of these people the idea that they have a voice is new to them. This is the root of democracy, and democracy is a beautiful thing. So while many days were largely discouraging in numbers, I loved what I was doing.

My team and I spent two days down at the Capitol in Olympia, coordinating meetings between clinic managers, patients and their legislators. We also attended rallies, town hall meetings and the like. All this to say, this job was right up my alley.

But alas, nothing lasts forever. Once the legislative session wrapped up, so did my time at CHP. I will still do the occasional marketing event for them, but I'm no longer heading downtown every day. I miss working, I miss the office, my coworkers, the direct-trade and organic coffee, the bus ride and walk downtown, the lunch breaks, coming home after a long day at work, the intellectual stimulation and the paycheck. But most of all, I missed spending each day doing something I loved and knowing that I was making a difference.

When the regular session ended, both the house and the senate had restored most of the funding to Basic Health (health care coverage for the working poor - those who don't have employer provided care and who can't afford it otherwise), GA-U (temporary assistance to those deemed unemployable due to mental health and disability), Medicaid optional services (dental and other), maternity support services, interpreter services and health care for kids. They headed into special session to iron out the details of the budget and the revenue package. Yesterday I learned that it is finalized. These important services have been maintained at current levels (took huge hits last year) preserving these basic health services for over 100,000 Washingtonians.

There are still roughly 900,000 people in this state who have no health insurance, and much remains to be done. As for me, I'm just grateful. Grateful for the job, the paycheck, for the expanded horizons. How great to have a job that merged my passion for politics and advocacy. It's too bold to suggest that I have a clear view of my future career path, but perhaps not too bold to say that I'm starting to dream.

with glowing hearts - a repost

I wrote this blog post four years ago after the Vancouver Olympics. I thought I would repost it following yesterday's big gold medal win for Canada - and our generally fantastic showing at the Sochi games.

And I want to add this for those who wonder why Canadians get so fiercely proud during the winter Olympics: we are always that proud, we just take this chance to be loud.

I spend most of the Olympics being lovingly harassed by my American friends, particularly the hockey fans. Suddenly, Canada gets attention - we are rivals, we are annoying, we are disliked, we are noticed. We love it.

In my experience, Americans like to pretend that Canada doesn't exist, or at least doesn't matter. Hence all the jokes about being the 51st state or "America's hat." Nevermind that we are the USA's biggest trade partner, largest provider of oil, a member of the G8, a strong presence in the UN, NATO, NAFTA, the Commonwealth, were a crucial presence for the entirety of both world wars, the US's strongest and most loyal ally and share the world's largest unprotected border. We have one tenth the population of the US, yet have a fairly pristine and highly respected reputation internationally. We are peaceful, peaceable and peacekeepers. We are not a superpower. We aren't perfect, but we are great. We are a country that is deserving of tremendous respect, even when we don't receive it.

As a nation we tend to be quiet and humble, not willing to engage in culture wars. We're not trying to be better than the US, we don't want to be the US. Please understand: we have nothing to prove. We're not your jealous little brother. We are Canada.

Every once in a while we get the chance to shine in our own way on a world stage and we make sure to take advantage. And Americans are starting to take notice. Not even willing to let us have our hallowed sport, we get under your skin with our hockey gold. And frankly we love it.

Not always loud, but so very, very proud.

...




I'm a proud Canadian.

8 days ago I watched Canada's men's hockey team win the gold medal against the US on home ice. I watched with my hands over my eyes, pacing the room, and developing ulcers, but I watched. I wasn't sure I was going to. We were on vacation in northern California that week and were heading to wine country that day. After the heartbreak I endured a week before (Canada lost to the US in the round robin) and the vivid memories of the stress I felt watching the same game 8 years before in Salt Lake (Canada won gold then also), I felt like it might be in the best interest of my mental health to avoid the game and to drink some wine. At least that was the plan. I woke up with a nervous stomach, and the nerves only escalated through our drive, my frantic search for radio coverage of the game and our eventual arrival at my aunt and uncle's hotel room in Sonoma during the first intermission. Not watch the game? Who was I kidding?

I couldn't miss that game. As Neil put it, it was a life event. I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at the hyperbole, but I assure you I exaggerate not. It wasn't just a hockey game, and it wasn't just that our collective Canadian pride was on the line, it was that and more. It was the culmination of a two week celebration of my country, my home that I miss so much.

After Canada's loss to the US in the round robin, I was inconsolable. No, it wasn't anger at the taunting text messages I received (I know they were all sent in love), and it wasn't just the loss. I was having a hard time putting my finger on the source when Adam (oh how I love him) did it for me. I hated that I wasn't in Canada to watch that game. I wanted to be in Vancouver still, surrounded by fans as fervent (or more so) than I. I was missing home, and it all came crashing down on me then.

Our Olympic experience was amazing. We spent 6 days and nights total in Vancouver. We watched the Opening Ceremonies (which I LOVED) with some of my closest family and friends. We saw the fireworks outside Kara & Tyler's front door as we were watching the coverage on TV. We went to Robson Square, saw the torch, the Olympic rings, and the general pandemonium that was Vancouver. We went to a men's preliminary curling match - and were overwhelmed by the flags, the spirit, the curling savvy and the NOISE of the fans. We are the proud owners of the autographs of the gold medal winning men's curling team. We went to hockey games and cheered at the top of our lungs, even though we didn't care who won. We sensed the excitement and were part of it. The 'Olympic spirit' isn't just a cliche and it was palpable in Vancouver.

Undoubtedly my highlight was the VIP room of Molson Canadian Hockey House. As the lucky recipients of unused VIP passes, Kara, Tyler, Carter, Adam & I spent the night enjoying free drinks, food, and one of the poshest lounges I have ever been to at one of the most coveted venues in Vancouver. The night before all of team Canada plus Gretzky were in the VIP lounge post win, and although they weren't expected that night, the thought alone was enough to make me permanently giddy. They didn't show up, but Lanny McDonald did (Calgary Flames Stanley cup winning captain in 89). Meeting him was... maybe the highlight of my life?

Point is, we had the best time. We were able to see and do so many cool things. But the best part, the essence of it all was being in Canada, with Canadians, watching Canadian TV coverage and unashamedly reveling in all things Canadian.

For me, the Olympics was two weeks of celebrating Canada and bursting with pride. We're back in the States now and will happily live here for the foreseeable future, at least the next few years. This is Adam's home, and it's mine for now - and you know what, I love this country too.

But when Crosby scored the game winning goal and I stood singing "Oh Canada" with my aunt and uncle there was nothing but pure unadulterated joy (and yes plenty of pride) even from afar. Sure, it was just a hockey game, but it was so much more. It was a celebration for Canada, of Canada, in Canada. With glowing hearts, indeed.

everything in between

It's been quite some time since my last blog entry. I've been meaning to post, but have been busy and largely uninspired. While I don't usually use this blog to update people on our specific activities, so many notable things have happened since my last post that I feel the need to share them with you all.

• We had a wonderful but all too brief trip to Chicago over Thanksgiving. There was time for celebrating and relaxing with family over the holiday and then a little time for fun and merriment with friends in the city (for me, poor Adam had to head back). It was great to be in Chicago and thankfully my previously mentioned homesickness had long since passed. :)
  
• Both my sisters and nephew came for a weekend visit shortly after my return, and as always we had a great time being together and shopping and eating our way around Seattle.
  
• My parents made their inaugural visit to our new place in Seattle. They just couldn't abide the thought that we would be all alone on Christmas. They came to our rescue and it was such a blessing to have them with us: to show them our lives here, to celebrate Christmas together, to enjoy mom's delicious Christmas dinners AND baking, and to simply enjoy each other's company in a relaxed setting.
• Because I'm perpetually homesick for Calgary I returned with mom and dad for a week. I just loved spending time at home and in the house I grew up in. It's always so good for my soul to be there. I got to spend time with family, friends, enjoy some Calgary shopping and, of course, a Flames game. I was also really happy to see some snow and have some more seasonal weather. While I love the mild climate here, it just didn't feel quite as Christmas-y wandering around Seattle with no coat on the 25th of December.
  
• It's been less than three weeks since I returned to Seattle and it feels like forever - in a good way. I love this city, and I love our life here. I was very happy to return to it. Since then, I turned 28 years old, celebrated birthdays and engagements with friends and have spent entire weekends with Adam (the first in a really long time). It's been a really fun three weeks!
  
• This last weekend my amazing friend, Sarah Zimmerman, hopped on a plane last minute and came to visit. I love every minute I get to spend with her and it was so much fun showing her Seattle for the first time and a good excuse to check some new things off our list. Highlights include a trip to Bainbridge, some great food, a hilarious karaoke bar and an award winning performance by Adam, and some beautiful weather and sights. My goal is to get everyone I love to move to Seattle and I think I made some progress with Sarah.
• We're heading out of town this weekend (for my birthday) and anxiously anticipating our three weeks of vacation in February and March. We'll be in Vancouver for a few days during the Olympics, heading down to Northern California to visit Angie, Neil & Sharol and see some sights, and meeting up with friends in Vegas. So much to look forward to, and so much planning to do!
  

So... that's the update. I have, of course, left out a very big piece of my life lately, but that's because it deserves it's own blog entry. I got a temp job in December and have been lucky enough to extend my time working here at Community Health Plan of Washington. In short - I absolutely love this job and am so grateful that it came my way. More to come on my adventures working in Public Policy/Advocacy soon. :)

gratitude

I'm homesick. Homesick for Chicago. It hit me Sunday after church. While I love our church here, it is not Ravenswood, and it's still not home. While I've met many wonderful people, there are still so many people who I don't know and coffee hour can be intimidating. I had an hour to kill between church and picking Adam up from work and I honestly did not know what to do with myself. I couldn't help but think that in Chicago we lived but two short blocks from church. That thought led me down the rabbit trail to everything I miss about Chicago - and I mean EVERYTHING. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wished I was in Chicago walking home from church (after a coffee hour spent talking to any number of wonderful people) down the street to our apartment, or to CVS where we often picked up milk after church, or down to the Square for some window shopping. I thought of the cold and snow and slush and could remember where the puddles would form on that walk and could picture every detail. I MISSED the terrible weather, I just missed everything.

Another factor to this homesick spell was spending some time downtown with Adam. I LOVE Seattle's downtown and have spent a lot of time there since we moved. However, being there with Adam, in the evening, around the holidays sucked. It just wasn't Chicago. We didn't get downtown much, but date nights strolling down Michigan avenue or going to Millennium Park never disappointed. It's magical there, especially around the holidays. Seattle's downtown is great for what it is, but it's not Chicago and never will be.

I think it's the familiar that I miss. I miss routine and comfort and familiarity. Maybe we've been here long enough that some of the novelty has worn off. We're new, but we're not. Maybe it's the holidays that make me long for Chicago. Maybe it's that I'm sick of the dreary rain. Maybe it's that I miss having more than a handful of friends - I miss ALL my amazing friends. So, so, so much. I wish each and everyone one of you lived here. I wish we could get together for dinner, just to hang out, watch football or run into each other at a NPU event. I miss having people I know everywhere. It's not just one thing, it's everything.

My point is... I'm homesick, and it sucks. We're heading for Chicago tomorrow morning, and while I'm so excited to be with family and to be in the city, I'm nervous to be in the place that I miss so dearly. (Clarification - this is a temporary funk - I'm already much LESS homesick than I was Sunday and have no doubt it will pass soon. Maybe being in Chicago will help me get over it! ;) But as I was thinking about how homesick I was I couldn't help but note that I'm also incredibly blessed. Blessed that I DO love it here, blessed that the move hasn't been terrible and that homesickness hasn't hit until now. I'm blessed in countless ways, and in the spirit of Thanksgiving I've decided to focus on that.

I am grateful for: (in NO particular order and off the top of my head)
Adam (I have no words to describe how grateful I am for him)
our cat, Jack and his health (knock on wood)
my family - immediate, in-law and extended
the friends who are as close as family
all my friends, acquaintances, buddies and past co-workers - each blesses me in their own way
having a warm, safe place to live
as broke as we are, we really aren't, we have SO much
beauty - Seattle, Lake Union, Mt. Rainier
the health of my family - I am SO grateful for our health
a new church that can't replace Ravenswood, but doesn't need to
the chance and ability to visit Chicago and see old friends
our trip to Europe this last spring
GRACE
memories
my nephew :)
the constancy and love of my 'little family'
living 2 hours away from Canada - my homeland
the temp job I just got (better than nothing)
small mercies
people that love me and pray for me
my grandparents
the fact that life goes on
faithfulness
good books
good music
good wine
Pastors that care about us and take care of us
that my friends are still my friends even though so many miles separate us
the fact that we still haven't turned our heat on at the end of November
new friends
assurance that while EVERYTHING changes, God does not

the list goes on... and on...

This is one of my favorite songs by Nichole Nordeman - Gratitude
The words never fail to ground, humble and encourage me. They take on new meaning with every situation and every season of life and seem especially appropriate to me this Thanksgiving.

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You
With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

'just a cat'

I feel compelled to blog about what's been going on with Jack since most everyone that might read my blog has probably been well informed via facebook of the ordeal. However, I really just don't know what to say. It's been a loooong two weeks. He seems to be doing well overall, but there is still cause for concern and will be for the next two weeks (and to some degree forever after that).

Facing the thought of losing him has been tremendously difficult and I have realized to just what extent his constant companionship and love have helped me through this move and transition. It would be very lonely here without him. The ups and downs of his recovery (I think there have been FIVE times we've been positive that we'd have to put him down) have taken quite a toll on me. There have been many times in my life when I have underestimated my strength and been surprised by it, but this time I think I have overestimated it and that in itself has been a shock to my system. I am weak, I need help, I need prayer. I am doing my best to embrace this vulnerability and to simply ask for the help and intervention that I need. It's terribly humbling, but a little hit to my pride is a small price to pay at this point. Perhaps there is strength in admitting weakness. While the transition to this new life has been largely positive, losing Jack could emphasize a lot of the hard parts and I would greatly miss the comfort and consistency he provides.

So I pray. I pray that he will continue to heal, that this whole process and all these bills will not simply end in tragedy, but in recovery. I pray that he continues to pee, that he eats, and that soon he will decide to pooh again. I know, right? What absurd concerns. I pray that I will continue to draw near to God in this time and that I will find his peace no matter what happens and that his strength will be sufficient. I pray for strength to continue taking care of Jack even though I just. want. to. be. done. with it all. I hate this weakness, I hate the feebleness that this has brought out, but I ask for the courage to not deny it and seek the help I need when I need it. I pray for Adam as he struggles to take care of Jack and me at home while burdened with his highly stressful job that is starting to burn him out. As always, I'm grateful for the support, love and prayers of my friends and family. I have been so blessed through so many in this time. And I appreciate those who are graceful enough to simply accept how hard this is for us even if Jack is 'just a cat.' When all is said and done, he's OUR cat, he brings us a lot of love and joy and I pray that he sticks around for a lot longer.

P.S. This whole ordeal has also increased my need for any sort of job. It would be good to get out more, and a paycheck would be - well a big help. :)

Dwell in possibility...

You know the poem, right? It's certainly not a new sentiment, but it is taking on new meaning to me these days. It is a freeing and exciting truth, the utter possibilities that my current situation brings when I am capable to believe it. I am free to do most anything, really. I can wait, and pray and hope and explore possibilities and new horizons may be opened. I am not restricted by an employer, a paycheck, a routine or many expectations. My future may be very different from anything I have yet imagined or hoped. I may receive the opportunity to pursue a passion or dream that I never thought I would, or never knew I had. Indeed there is freedom in this possibility. But here is the flip side. Possibility, the very essence of it, is incredibly unnerving. With this lack of structure and limitations comes, well, lack of structure and a large does of uncertainty. Realizing that the possibilities are endless means that well, they are in fact, endless. The exhilaration of such possibility is counter-balanced by its very vastness and lack of focus. And this lack of focus, I feel, has always been my problem, just as certainly as a lack of passion has never been. So I continue to seek focus, toe the line, find the balance and at least attempt to follow my heart. How blessed I am to be supported and encouraged in this by those who love me most. To those of you who kindly remind me that I have nothing to prove - I am grateful.

On this same note there are some lyrics that play on perpetual repeat in my head lately and the relevance is not lost on me. Adam & I share a love for the song "I Never Lost my Praise" on a Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir cd. While the entire song is incredibly powerful, it is these words that I am praying over... "I've lost some battles by walking in fear." Certainly food for thought.

zero to sixty... in reverse

I have a whole list of things that I want to blog about: the Josephson family reunion, my time home in Calgary, short trip to Chicago for Grammy's memorial, a LONG overdue Europe post, etc. And it's certainly not a lack of time that is keeping me from writing them. But it seems that sometimes it's harder for me to get things done when I have nothing but time.

The other night I had a dream that I was on vacation somewhere and forgot that I had a couple papers due. The dream was filled with stress and that frantic feeling - scrambling to get something done last minute. When I woke up, it took me a minute to realize it was just a dream. So relieved... sort of.

Friends and family are quick to remind that I deserve this break, that my life this spring was so hectic, that it takes some time to decompress. They are right, and I appreciate the reminder. Life WAS hectic. Overly so. I who cherish the downtime, the nights to myself, I should relish this time. I was running myself ragged, pushing too hard, going a million miles an hour. I'm not the type to enjoy being over-scheduled and hyper busy. I love rest.

But I have a confession. I'm bored. Europe was phenomenal. It was the breath of fresh air that we wanted and needed. We lived for the moment each moment, loved every second of that great adventure. It was rejuvenating and relaxing. We came back to the chaos of packing up our lives and starting new ones. Moving here was a whirlwind and it's taken some time to gather up the pieces of our lives and to decompress - take a deep breath.

I've had the entire summer off to play. And play I have! As I've mentioned it's been an incredible and fulfilling summer, and now it's coming to an end. My plans for the year take shape and fall apart - sometimes multiple times a day. Some days I'm full of optimism and enthusiasm and others I'm simply restless,unfulfilled. I want a job, I crave structure. I'm starting to miss school. I miss working, thinking, doing.

So my prayer is this: that I will act on ambition on the days that I have it, and that I won't beat myself up when I don't. Beyond that, I pray that I live each day in His joy and peace. Contentment doesn't always come easy, but it has the power to transform and transcend these worries. I need to figure out some of these temporal pieces of my life, but I also need to remember that they are just that.