You know the poem, right? It's certainly not a new sentiment, but it is taking on new meaning to me these days. It is a freeing and exciting truth, the utter possibilities that my current situation brings when I am capable to believe it. I am free to do most anything, really. I can wait, and pray and hope and explore possibilities and new horizons may be opened. I am not restricted by an employer, a paycheck, a routine or many expectations. My future may be very different from anything I have yet imagined or hoped. I may receive the opportunity to pursue a passion or dream that I never thought I would, or never knew I had. Indeed there is freedom in this possibility. But here is the flip side. Possibility, the very essence of it, is incredibly unnerving. With this lack of structure and limitations comes, well, lack of structure and a large does of uncertainty. Realizing that the possibilities are endless means that well, they are in fact, endless. The exhilaration of such possibility is counter-balanced by its very vastness and lack of focus. And this lack of focus, I feel, has always been my problem, just as certainly as a lack of passion has never been. So I continue to seek focus, toe the line, find the balance and at least attempt to follow my heart. How blessed I am to be supported and encouraged in this by those who love me most. To those of you who kindly remind me that I have nothing to prove - I am grateful.
On this same note there are some lyrics that play on perpetual repeat in my head lately and the relevance is not lost on me. Adam & I share a love for the song "I Never Lost my Praise" on a Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir cd. While the entire song is incredibly powerful, it is these words that I am praying over... "I've lost some battles by walking in fear." Certainly food for thought.
Monday, October 5, 2009
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